my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
