Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
