just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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