I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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