I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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