I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
