I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
