the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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