David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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