Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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