you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
