its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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