He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Two words: blizzard sex
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
