Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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