this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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