yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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