How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
