If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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