so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
