omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
