somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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