office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
