I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
