You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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