I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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