Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
