Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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