so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize