If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
