I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
