im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
