I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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