I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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