help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the day after is always just damage control
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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