Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
