8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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