So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
