don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
whose parrot is this?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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