Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
