8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
