Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?