did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.