are you still at the devil's house?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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