rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
