You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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