Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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