if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize