I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
