Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
