he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
