I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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