Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
