i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We got so high we made milksteak
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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