my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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