Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
