Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if only i could text you this smell
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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