I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
