I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize