I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
