We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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