We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
