Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
