You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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