if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
