That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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