Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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