Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
