come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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